ADHD in Midlife - Finding Strengths and Reclaiming Possibility

What happened?

Midlife - that space between our mid-30s and early 60s Is a time when many of us take stock of where we are in life, and for those with ADHD, it can bring unique challenges and opportunities. If you’ve been feeling like you're constantly losing the thread or struggling to figure out what’s next, you’re not alone. Midlife can feel uncertain, but it also holds immense possibility—a chance to reclaim your power and refocus on what truly matters.

“And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?””

— 'Once in a Lifetime' by Talking Heads

Today, we're exploring how ADHD affects us in midlife, the challenges and strengths that can come with it, and how we can turn this period into an empowering time of growth and reconnection.

1. ADHD Brain and Midlife Changes

The aging process brings natural changes to our brain, and for adults with ADHD, these shifts can mean new challenges in areas like managing our executive functions (including memory, focus, and emotional regulation). Hormonal changes, shifting metabolism, and other physical changes can all influence our neurology, making it crucial to take care of our bodies.

Good exercise habits, proper nutrition, and quality sleep can make a huge difference in our ability to think clearly, regulate our emotions, and manage the daily demands of life.

Many of my clients in midlife are also busy parents, business owners, or working in management roles. Juggling these responsibilities can feel like an endless list of tasks, but this stage of life also provides an opportunity to re-evaluate and reprioritise. There is untapped strength in midlife that we often overlook - a chance to grow and redefine success on our own terms.

Midlife is a natural time for re-evaluating our priorities. For those of us with ADHD, if we have been diagnosed later in life, we look at things through a different lens.

Once we understand where ADHD has influenced our lives, we can start to explore the strengths it can bring - that can also mean our ability to add creativity and expansiveness to what can be complex situations. Whether it’s shifting our careers, exploring new hobbies, or finding new ways to take care of ourselves, ADHD can lead us to discover new, unexpected opportunities for growth.

Many people have taken my ADHD Growth Quiz, and the insights they've gained have been truly inspiring. If you’re looking to discover more personalised insights about your ADHD growth path, I highly recommend taking the quiz. It’s a fantastic way to kick-start your journey toward reclaiming your power.

Strategies for Reclaiming Your Power

Here are some practical strategies that can help you rediscover control and focus your energy during this time of change:

Reframe Challenges as Opportunities:

Neuroplasticity doesn’t stop just because we’re in midlife—our brains are still capable of growth and change. Every challenge, whether it’s keeping up with work demands, managing emotional ups and downs, or balancing family responsibilities, is an opportunity to rethink and adapt.

Our brains keep changing

We used to believe that brains were ‘fixed’ in adulthood (after 25) but now know there is continuous growth and change - and using our bodies and brains in new ways, creating new beliefs, will encourage that flexibility.

Create Micro-Goals and Celebrations:

Setting ‘micro-goals’ and celebrating small wins can have a huge impact on how you feel about yourself.

When we pause and recognise the step we’ve taken, the effort of it, we can experience ‘joy in the journey’ rather than waiting for a perfect end to our efforts. For example, finding five minutes in the morning before your kids wake up to sit quietly and focus on the warmth of your tea or coffee, or using a lunch break to tackle one small task that’s been rattling around in your working memory like an ‘open loop’ can help you reduce your feelings of overwhelm during the whole day.

Research shows that breaking larger tasks into smaller steps helps build momentum and consistency - I think of them as ‘baby steps’ - but they can take you a long way (see the illustration by Sarah Anderson). If you feel like having too many small tasks is overwhelming, you could use my ‘bucket’ strategy, that I share in my CLEAR©️ Procrastination Cure ebook: it’s a bit like putting tasks related to one overall job into an envelope or bucket, so you don’t need to see them scrolling away from you into infinity.

 Embrace Community:

Lean into the strength of community - whether it's new or old friends, family, or an online support group. ADHD can sometimes make social dynamics more challenging, but once we discover our ADHD, we can also discover a new ability to empathize and connect deeply with others who have had a similar experience.

Many of my clients have found that joining online forums or creating a peer support group at work has been a powerful way to combat feelings of isolation and build mutual understanding.

Explore your future with new people who understand and accept YOU.

 Wherever you decide to connect, make sure that you are finding people who are accepting of you, your challenges and your strengths and that everyone is focused on having a more meaningful and ENJOYABLE life. Think ‘expansion’ rather than ‘commiseration’.

Midlife might seem like a challenging chapter, but it can also a time to redefine success on YOUR terms. When we embrace our strengths, set stretchy but fun goals, and build our kind of community, we can reclaim our power - however long ago we lost touch with it - and continue to grow.

If you’re looking for a starting point, I would encourage you to take my ADHD Growth Quiz.

It’s a simple, insightful tool designed to help you understand your unique ADHD stage of growth and how to use it to your advantage. Plus, I'll be sharing the insights and aggregate results from the quiz in upcoming content, so you can see how others are thriving too.

Remember, you are capable, resilient, and still on a path of growth. Let’s keep taking small steps forward and embrace the possibilities that midlife has to offer.