ADHD Myth: Is it laziness or…?

“She is so laid back in class, she’s horizontal”

“If only she would apply herself, she could achieve great results.”

“Why haven’t you finished this? (again)?”

If ADHD had ‘existed’ back in the 1970s and 80s, I would never have put my hand up and said ‘oh me! that’s me!’. Never.

I couldn’t sit still outside of class unless I was reading a book but in school?

Dreamy McDistracted could have been my name.

The Myth of Laziness: More Than Just a Misunderstanding

The stereotype that people with ADHD are lazy is inaccurate and damaging. This belief throws petrol onto a cycle of shame and self-doubt, making it even more difficult to get diagnosed, to accept our brain-based differences and then to manage ADHD symptoms effectively (Barkley, 2015). It's essential we help other people realise that laziness and ADHD are not the same things, and confusing the two can have serious repercussions for every part of our lives.

The Reality of those "Frozen" Moments: It's Not What It Looks Like

Many of us with ADHD experience what I like to call "frozen" moments. These are instances when we feel overwhelmed by tasks and responsibilities, leading to a sort of paralysis. It's not that we don't want to do anything; it's that we feel stuck and don't know where to start (Nigg, 2017). The common sentiment, "I have so much to do... I just can't do ANY of it!" resonates with many of us.

It was so bad during my PhD years I gained 60lbs just trying to manage my way through the ‘paralysis’ of undiagnosed ADHD - which is why I created the ‘Undoing ADHD Paralysis’ plan (and webinar, and course) - so you don’t have to suffer too.

via GIPHY

The Role of Executive Functions (Again): It's Neurological, Not a Character Flaw

ADHD affects our executive functions, which include skills like planning the future, prioritising our work, initiating tasks, and sustaining attention (Diamond, 2013). When these functions are impaired, it's not about being lazy; it's a neurological difference. Understanding this can help those of us with ADHD to unpick some of the shame and embarrassment we feel about not ‘adulting’ or operating on the same level as our peers and those around us to approach the condition with more empathy and less judgment. It’s a difficult balance - we want people to understand and accept that we will operate differently but don’t want them to assume we are incapable. You might want to offer an example so that they understand: people with glasses have eyes that find focusing on books or blackboards difficult - but when they’re given glasses, they can understand everything they see. In the same way, when we are able to advocate for what we need, we can succeed at whatever we focus on.

Emotional Dysregulation: The Hidden Factor

One aspect of ADHD that often goes unnoticed is emotional dysregulation. This means we have challenges in managing emotional responses, which can look like quick mood changes, ‘over’ emotional reactions, or difficulty calming down after an emotional high (Barkley, 2015; Shaw et al., 2014). Dr Barkley calls this ‘DESR’ - deficient emotional self regulation - and I think it’s a core component of where ADHD can affect us as adults in ways that most people just wouldn’t understand.

Why does this matter to you right now? Well, when we feel emotional dysregulation, it can lead to procrastination and other avoidance behaviour. For instance, the mere thought of starting a challenging task, or one when we don’t know if the result will be ‘good enough’ might trigger us to feel anxiety or frustration, so we… just don’t start. This avoidance is not laziness; it's a coping mechanism for overwhelming emotions (Mitchell et al., 2018).

Understanding the role of emotional dysregulation in ADHD can provide a more in depth and compassionate view of why individuals with ADHD might appear "lazy" to the uninformed observer (cough looking at some of my teachers.. not many but enough). It's another layer of complexity that shows why it’s essential we don’t go jumping to conclusions based on what we can see on the surface.

The Damage of Mislabeling: The Long-Term Consequences

Labeling someone with ADHD as lazy can have long-lasting effects, damaging our self-esteem and even career progression (Knouse et al., 2013). It's vital that we understand - what might appear as laziness on the outside is often a complex inner mixture of ADHD traits and emotional factors. Mislabeling can lead to missed opportunities and perpetuate the cycle of shame and self-doubt.

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Further reading:

Barkley, R. A. (2015). Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A handbook for diagnosis and treatment. Guilford Publications.

Diamond, A. (2013). Executive functions. Annual review of psychology, 64, 135-168.

Knouse, L. E., Zvorsky, I., & Safren, S. A. (2013). Depression in adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): The mediating role of cognitive-behavioral factors. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 37(6), 1220-1232.

Mitchell, J. T., McIntyre, E. M., English, J. S., Dennis, M. F., Beckham, J. C., & Kollins, S. H. (2018). A pilot trial of mindfulness meditation training for ADHD in adulthood: Impact on core symptoms, executive functioning, and emotion dysregulation. Journal of Attention Disorders, 22(13), 1215-1229.

Shaw, P., Stringaris, A., Nigg, J., & Leibenluft, E. (2014). Emotional dysregulation and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. American Journal of Psychiatry, 171(3), 276-293.

Nigg, J. T. (2017). Annual Research Review: On the relations among self‐regulation, self‐control, executive functioning, effortful control, cognitive control, impulsivity, risk‐taking, and inhibition for developmental psychopathology. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 58(4), 361-383.

Safren, S. A., Otto, M. W., Sprich, S., Winett, C. L., Wilens, T. E., & Biederman, J. (2005). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for ADHD in medication-treated adults with continued symptoms. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 43(7), 831-842.