Burnout and ADHD and Coaching

I recently saw a post from an ADHD coaching organisation suggesting that clients approaching burnout should take “the first step” of searching for a coach. As an ADHD coach, this has made me deeply uncomfortable.

Don’t get me wrong – I absolutely believe in the power of coaching for ADHD-related challenges, but I’ve learned that rushing to coach someone in acute burnout can cause more harm than good – to both the client and the coach.

It’s a problem that new coaches will face many times and that they need to prepare for because (let’s be honest) the deep desire to support another person in need is often why they have become coaches in the first place.

Understanding Burnout: It’s More Than ‘Just’ Stress

The World Health Organisation defines burnout as

“chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed,” characterised by “feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and reduced professional efficacy.”

There’s a crucial distinction between stress and burnout that every coach needs to understand.

The Spectrum of Burnout:

When Coaching Helps vs. When It Harms

Early stress and overwhelm – where someone recognises the increasing pressure but still has capacity – can absolutely benefit from coaching. The frog has noticed that the water is getting uncomfortably warm but they’re able to hop out. Here, we can work preventatively to build systems, set boundaries, and develop or improve coping strategies.

Acute burnout – where someone is emotionally flat, unable to function effectively, and has no reserves left – requires a completely different approach. Adding coaching goals and accountability to someone in this state can become another stressor that pushes them further toward breakdown.

If we have ADHD, this difference is even more important.

The basis of ADHD is found in our executive function , which can make it harder to engage with coaching processes when we are overwhelmed. ]

The masking that many ADHDers do to appear “fine” can also mask the severity of their burnout from coaches who aren’t carefully assessing. The worst thing we (as coaches) can do is add things that other coaches might regard as ‘standard’ – even reflection forms before and after sessions can be a demand too far.

Red Flags – how close are you to burnout?

Through years of connection calls, I’ve identified several warning signs that let me know if someone might benefit more from clinical support before or alongside coaching:

Emotional Overwhelm
– Crying that seems about overwhelm and drowning rather than relief at being heard
– Emotional flatness or numbness rather than engagement
– Expressions of hopelessness: “I don’t know how I can cope” or “I don’t know what to do”

Functional Flags
– Unable to complete basic self-care or family responsibilities
HOWEVER: this is very common in ADHD clients, especially the ‘default humans’ (usually women) who are in charge of the entire family’s executive function and care, so it’s not a blanket reason to say ‘no’).
– Significant work performance decline affecting employment
– Multiple active stressors (financial, relationship, health, family) without adequate support systems (and that’s not a meeting with their HR or wellbeing team – we need practical, on the ground support that addresses the issues in real time).

Cognitive Signs
– Difficulty following conversation or remembering what was just discussed (again, common in ADHD so use your judgement and curiosity)
– Unable to see or imagine any positive outcomes or possibilities – huge, huge red flag for me, personally
– Cognitive rigidity – can only see problems, not solutions (this can be impacted by ADHD and trauma, so again, use careful judgement)

ADHD-Specific Concerns
– Complete, sudden breakdown of previously functional coping systems
– Extreme emotional dysregulation making any feedback or questioning impossible for the client to regulate enough for actually processing the coaching question: coaching requires the coach to question the client, with different levels of challenge
– Executive dysfunction so severe it impacts safety or basic day to day functioning

Why a ‘Connection Call’ isn’t about ‘selling’ you something

Your initial connection call (or whatever the coach calls it) shouldn’t be about selling your coaching services. It’s a really important opportunity for you to check if the coach is a good fit – if you will get the right kind of support or partnership to match their current readiness to engage with change.

Here’s are some ideas on how to make sure that you’re going in to the call or meeting prepared:

Before the Call
– You might get an email with some questions about you, what’s going on and what you hope coaching might do for you – If you hate answering forms, this can be done ‘live’ in the call. It’s not ‘more work’ but just have a think about the questions so you know what you really want.

– Let the coach know about current therapy, medication, or other professional support. This is important so that you are getting the right help at the right point for you.

During the Call
Do you find it difficult to imagine, or have the energy to think about or imagine solutions?

Are you only able to describe problems?

If you’re on the autistic spectrum, using metaphors or visual explanations can be a challenge. Some coaches use these a lot in coaching so if it’s not right for you, they know quickly.

What are your support systems like?

If you are dealing with multiple crises without adequate professional help or family relationships create even more stress, please let the person on your call know.

The Number One Question

Before diving into coaching, ask yourself this: “If I had a great plan for change today, how confident am I that I’d have the energy to start taking action?”

Your honest answer tells you almost everything you need to know about your readiness.

Coaching isn’t a passive experience. As one of my colleagues says, “your spade won’t dig the garden on its own.” If that makes you smile rather than feel exhausted, you’re probably in the right headspace.

A Simple Self-Assessment
Try rating yourself on this scale: “On a scale of 1-10, how much bandwidth do I feel I have right now for taking on new challenges or making changes?”

If you’re scoring below a 4, you likely need some stabilisation first. This isn’t a failing. It’s valuable self-awareness.

Sometimes the most resourceful thing we can do is recognise when we need to build our foundation before adding new challenges.

What “Whole, Capable, and Resourceful” Actually Means

You might have heard that coaches see our clients as “whole, capable, and resourceful.” Some people ithink that this means you should be able to handle everything alone – or that you couldn’t be NOT ready for coaching.

That’s not what it means at all.

Being truly resourceful means recognising when you need different types of help. The most capable people often have robust support networks because they understand their own needs and limitations.

You might benefit from coaching and therapy. Or coaching and medical care. Or coaching and practical family support. This is normal and it’s wise.

When coaches suggest additional resources, we’re not saying that you’re too broken for coaching. We’re recognising that different challenges require different tools.

When You Might Need Additional Support First

ADHD rarely travels alone. Depression, anxiety, and trauma histories are common companions that can significantly affect your capacity for coaching.

Some signs you might benefit from other support alongside or before coaching:

When you’re under significant stress, your executive functions – one of the main things coaching aims to support – can become severely compromised. If you’re in crisis mode, your brain may not have the capacity to engage with coaching strategies effectively.

This doesn’t mean you’ll never be ready for coaching but it does mean addressing the crisis first will make coaching more effective when you are ready.

The Grey Areas

Life isn’t always clear-cut, and neither is readiness for coaching.

Therapy AND coaching

Some people benefit from both simultaneously. If you’re already working with a therapist and feel stable enough to add coaching, this can work well. The key is coordination.

Chronic vs Acute

If you have chronic but well-managed mental health conditions, you might still be a good candidate for coaching. However, if you’re in acute crisis, immediate clinical support should be your priority.

The Waiting Period

Sometimes taking a few months to build stability can set you up for coaching success later. This isn’t rejection – it’s strategic timing.

What this means for you:

Understanding your readiness for coaching means setting yourself up for success – you’ve already tried different strategies so the last thing a coach wants is for you to struggle with this too.

A good coach will want to understand where you are and could suggest waiting or adding other support if that’s in your best interest. This is actually a sign of professional care and ethics – but that can be hard to hear if you’re sensitive to rejection.

The goal for everyone is making sure you get the right help at the right time.

The bottom line:

Coaching can be incredibly helpful for ADHD-related challenges, but only when you have the capacity to engage with it productively.

Being honest about your readiness is exactly the kind of self-awareness that makes coaching successful when you are ready.

If you’re not quite there yet, that’s okay. Building your foundation first often makes coaching more effective later.

And if you are ready? That self-knowledge is already a sign that you’re prepared to make the most of the experience.

The most resourceful people know when to seek help, what kind of help they need, and when the timing is right. Give yourself permission to make that assessment honestly.

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